


Restitution

by Enolu



Series: Stay like this; stay with me [9]
Category: Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Friendship, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Post-War, Romance, Secret Relationship, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Slice of Life, Slow Life, Their Love Is So, Women In Power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enolu/pseuds/Enolu
Summary: With so much lost and gained, there’s nothing left to resent.
Relationships: Cagalli Yula Athha/Athrun Zala
Series: Stay like this; stay with me [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735528
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	Restitution

The hire costs more than she remembers, but it’s not worth going to the others to compare the cost of renting a scooter for the day.

The truth is that this same shop with its sunny front might even have changed hands within the last year. The islands are full of the very old and very young, and she's sure that the two running it aren’t the same people from when she visited previously.

They're nice enough though. "Don't forget to fasten up.”

“There won’t be that many vehicles, but you can never be too safe." The caution is offered casually, but the same woman who had taken payment exchanges a glance with her tanned assistant.

Cagalli's sunglasses obscure most of her face, and if the islanders manning the shop do see, they don't say anything suggesting that they recognise her.

For their trouble, she tips a little extra.

Her hair had been pushed under a cap as soon as she disembarked from her shuttle. She shakes it loose momentarily, then unceremoniously bundles and pushes it under the helmet. Her cap is tossed into her satchel, and she tugs the clip and strap under her chin to reassure them.

"I’ll bring it back by tonight.”

“You have until tomorrow, anyway – drive safe, now.”

She gives them a thumbs up.

So much for the shower that she took on the shuttle. Everything in this little garage smells like the hydrogen fuel and she has no doubt that she will too. Somehow, she’s nervous, even if she’s been seen in a far worse state than wearing crumpled clothing and having uncombed hair.

What the hell, she decides. Take it or leave it.

The sound of the scooter being wheeled out makes the mongrel look up, stirred from its mid-day lethargy. It pants a little, its bright eyes following his owners and their customer.

When she adjusts her satchel and starts the engine, the dog rolls up from where it rested. Its tawny body is still half in the sun and half in the shade, its spotted tail wagging and its tongue lolling from a half-smile. But Cagalli won't play this time.

"Maybe when I bring the scooter back," she teases. The dog wags its tail even more vigorously.

As she kicks off into the afternoon sun, her new friend runs a bit after her, barking its reminder of her promise to play.

After she grew up, she didn't want a dog or cat anymore. She couldn’t, no matter how lonely she was. It wouldn't have been fair to the animal, because a pet would require such commitment and she would never be able to abandon it.

An occasional lover doesn’t need constant care. A lover can decide to go, walk away and fend for themselves on their own. It was supposed to be simpler that way.

With the engine’s purr and the roar of the ocean, her vision grows linear. Around her, the waters sing even louder than the seas of Orb, bisecting the oblong review mirrors into silver and blue. 

The night when she and Athrun had taken their things and waved goodbye, the children at Markio’s house had sulked and cried. But they’d understood that the shuttle couldn’t wait and she had to return to Orb.

Coordinator, natural, woman, man, boy, girl, child, adult. It hadn’t mattered in the end. Standing next to her twin, her friends, her lover, the hands of the children small and warm in hers, they were all orphans.

Her youth had allowed her to dream so simply. The man whom she loved had somehow offered to leave the Marshall islands and follow her to Orb with a new name and identity. Nothing had daunted her then, just because he said that he would protect her and that he would be by her side.

She couldn’t have known how quickly it would all change when she said her goodbyes, hugging the children who ran to her. She hadn’t had the foresight when she waved to Kira and Lacus as they stood at the door. All she had thought was that the stars seemed so much closer.

It makes her smile now, because the road to the house is still the one and very same. With so much lost and gained, there’s nothing left to resent.

She picks up more speed, the palm trees disappearing faster behind her.

When she turns her head to the side, the waves sparkle and dance along the single road. She’d driven a bit recklessly like this, stealing glimpses of the ocean, driving the way she had when she was seventeen. But so much of her youth has come and gone.

Even after all this time, there aren't more garages like the one she stopped at. Nor have more roads been built to lead to the orphanage. Markio and the Junk Guild chose well in that sense – a place like this would be safe because it didn’t seem to hold anything worth much.

The island still seems lodged in another time. On this same road, her nephew and niece might have rolled down the windows of the car, the breeze rushing across their cheeks.

A place like this had made Lacus question whether Kira stayed with her only out of pity. Fourteen years ago, this was a place that someone used to Heliopolis would find so tiresome. Lacus must have known that Kira would one day leave the islands for any variety of reasons, not least the war machine buried under the very orphanage.

One day, Kira might tell his children that hiding in the Marshall Islands had been the most selfish thing that he and their mother did back then. Maybe he’ll explain that they'd instinctively known that those azure days wouldn't last forever.

But until then, Leon and Silvia won’t know about their parents’ isolation here for those two years. They don’t need to know about the time when their mother was ordered to be killed so that another could replace her.

And as long as Cagalli breathes, she won’t let them see the remnants of a Plant colony being hurtled into the night sky, except from their textbooks. They won't experience a bright comet rain, or know that the paradise had already been lost for their parents that night.

The Marshall islands and the orphanage are places where they’ll spend their holidays with their family and friends, where sunrises are found even in the coils of seashells. She wants these spaces to be nothing less but nothing more for them.

For her, this is a place that still heals.

Time becomes slower here, so the rest of the world doesn't tear in so easily. It's a place where children are brought to grow, so that they can be safe and leave as adults. This is a place where the heart can rest, if only for a while.

It's apt, she thinks, for a day like this.

X

It’s occurred to Athrun that he might have a problem evading Lacus.

It’s quite awkward, really. If Athrun was anything like Yzak, he might have snapped something along the lines of, “I’m not her public relations officer, so I don’t know anything about the suddenly urgent work that she can’t get away from! Anyway, can’t you ask her yourself?”

But Athrun isn’t anything like Yzak, even if this is a rare occasion when he wishes otherwise.

He’d hoped that the solution would be to avoid mentioning Cagalli. But when he played ball with the children yesterday and a few sulked about Cagalli’s absence, Lacus’ eyes followed him.

There was something piercing about that gaze of hers, providing a scrutiny that he couldn’t seem to shake off. Even while she arranged a child in her lap and brushed the girl's curls, Lacus watched him sort out the toys that the children poured out and begged him to fix.

Saying that he wasn't aware of how Cagalli was doing these days didn't seem to satisfy his friend. Nor did Lacus seem satisfied by his recount of the week, although Kira was evidently happy to take his word or lack thereof.

In a way, it would have been easier if Athrun met Kira in college or from a less awkward childhood period. They've gone from trying to kill each other to being able to talk about some parts of their work, the latest news and cars, guns and machines, and sometimes their messed-up parents.

They don't talk about things directly involving Cagalli, or Cagalli – they can’t. Not when it would involve breaking apart the fiction that has existed for so long; not when it would involve a confession involving Kira’s sister. They just can’t. It's simply not in their repertoire.

Lacus, on the other hand, grew up with him. She does understand him. Maybe that’s why she’s trying to start some kind of conversation.

But what did Lacus expect him to say, honestly? For that matter, what had he been expecting with Cagalli?

The years with her should have already taught him that she wouldn’t give him much – or anything – on his terms. Even back then, she hadn't agreed to stay put or cease piloting, no matter how he preferred her to keep away from the battles. She'd insisted that she would protect him and Kira.

He had found himself pulling her close, their floating bodies resisting gravity. When he had kissed her in witness of the moon, he knew that he loved her then. It didn’t matter that everything had seemed so messed up and difficult, because there was one irreducible truth and that blinding moment of clarity.

For so long, she always did what she wanted to do, regardless of how anyone tried to dissuade her. They’d fought together in Jachin Due and she had followed him even though he told her to stay back. She’d clashed with the other Orb leaders. She had been stubborn from the first day.

It's probably why he wound up adoring her. And now, with his clumsiness and that one rash action, he might have broken something.

"How are you today, Athrun?" Lacus says, and it’s too late, because she’s managed to catch him in the kitchen alone.

He curses himself for drifting off with his half-baked thoughts. He ekes out a convenient answer anyway. "I'm fine.”

It's the opening salvo, so he treads carefully and continues to wash the dishes. “And you, Lacus?"

"I’m well too." She doesn't offer more about herself, or Kira and their children. She just doesn't give him any chance for any deflection. "Let me help with these?”

“It’s fine, I’m almost done.” He tries to pick up the pace, but it doesn’t make her step away.

“You didn't seem quite present during breakfast, is everything alright?"

"Yes. I just thought I’d help out on this."

Lacus is too perceptive. Maybe he shouldn't have pre-empted any explanations that she would have sought.

Her eyes search his face. "You only arrived yesterday, there's no need to take it upon yourself to do all the errands."

"I should though, I leave the day after tomorrow."

Athrun means it sincerely, even if it currently functions as a bit of an excuse. There are a dozen things that he can help with, small as they are. In a place filled with children like this, there's always some mending to be done. Usually, it’s something that's barely held together with sticky tape and close to breaking apart. If only other things were easier to fix.

His friend places a soft hand on his shoulder. "Well, thank you. I'm sure that Markio and the children are very appreciative."

“It’s nothing, really.”

Lacus smiles. “You do much more than you give yourself credit for, Athrun. You’ve done so much.”

 _Sure, I have. I forgot myself and proposed without a ring – again. I acted as if nothing had changed, and I asked Cagalli to commit to a lifetime with me and risk her position and her standing in Orb. I pushed her towards something that would hurt what she’s worked so hard for_.

"It's not so easy," Cagalli had told him. Her face had been pale. "It should be, the way you say it, but it just isn't. Today, nobody would dare to attack you merely because you’re a Coordinator. But if you're with me, everything about your past and what your father did will be questioned all over again."

"It is what it is. I am his son. I did what I did." He had forced the words out, even as his heart clenched. It was so unfair.

"Will the people understand?"

"I don't know. But those who understand – those who care, and those I care about – they'll give us their blessing. I know that you’ll have to reckon with more than our friends and your family, but the world’s different now, Cagalli. Maybe people might understand."

"And then what? Will they stand in a circle and clap for us?" Her words had been so cutting, and her frustration made her cheeks flush. 

"We’ve fought to have a world of choice and a chance to dream. We've worked all this time to mend the conflicts between people like you and people like me. Coordinators, Naturals – we both wanted a world where we could exist as people, it was as simple as that.”

“And now that we have it, I’ve learned how much strength and power it takes to be in a position to protect this world. What you and I have now – the way that you can live as a Coordinator, I as a Natural – the way it is now, between us – we can live without others questioning and doubting us and our past. If people don’t accept our union, I risk my standing in Orb. You understand that, don’t you?"

"I can’t throw it all away. I want to serve Orb and protect a world where both Naturals and Coordinators can live as people. I want you to be in my life, but I would never risk what we’ve worked for. I can’t.”

She couldn't have said _yes, obviously I do, I’ll marry you, we're both ready now, what took you so long to ask, I love you so much, we can be together and you can see me whenever you want to and we’ll be a family and raise our children._

She wouldn’t – this was the same person who had insisted on piloting a war machine to protect others.

It's not fair, but it's what it is. She's an Orb noble and a leader of state, and there’s nothing for it. He can't really hold it against her. He’s perfectly aware of their individual failings. Plenty of those keep him awake at night. 

His hands have been scrubbing the same plate for too long. Athrun puts it aside and starts on another. 

He would be lying if he acted as though he didn’t feel anger, let alone the desperation of having waited and hoped. But he can’t blame anyone except himself, because it had been foolish to hope for things to be different one day.

He tells himself that he really hadn't planned to ask anyway. He was always bad at that sort of thing.

He scrubs a little harder, then rinses the lather off. The water drips a little more, even after he closes the tap. 

Lacus tilts her head up at him and says softly, “I’m glad you could make it here this weekend, Athrun. It’s always good seeing you.”

Take your focus off for a second and one might be swept in any direction of her intention. Athrun had once loved her too, although a love like that was probably felt by a version of himself that he’d scarcely recognise now.

"Do you want to help bake a cake with me?" Lacus says. Looking into her gaze is like staring into the sky, and he wonders if she can read everything he was thinking about.

Her voice is so gentle. "I was going to write in icing for Cagalli – belated as it would have been. Let’s still decorate it, shall we?”

He tries not to think of the uneaten cake that had laid between them the weekend before and the way that she left.

He manages to smile.

"Sure, I’ll help."

X

At the shoreline, the sound of her scooter pulling up startles the four figures into turning around.

They see that it's her, and they jump up, heading in her direction.

Of the three, Wataru is the tiniest, but he throws aside the coconut that he had been trying to break, and hurtles towards her the quickest. The morning sun glints off his face and hair, and he flings himself at her like life itself.

"Cagalli!" he screams. "You came! You came in the end! I knew you would!"

"I did, Wataru!"

She catches him, and she squeals as they tumble in the sand. But he's too heavy for her to hoist into the air these days, and so she lets him cling to her waist like a koala. "It's been a while, kiddo."

"Don't call me a kiddo!" he sulks. He rubs his face in her stomach, letting her ruffle his mossy hair. "I'm already five!"

"Of course, of course. You're all grown up now." Cagalli laughs at the face he makes, and pinches his cheek.

Wataru's friends catch up and rush to be cuddled too, except Leon.

Already, her nephew is almost an adult by Coordinator standards, and he comes up to her, a little shy with his latest growth spurt and his cheeks thinned out, without the baby fat that she can still recall.

He looks less like Lacus these days, Cagalli thinks, but more like Kira.

Sometimes, when her nephew is thinking about something, he looks as serious as his father does. He doesn't clamour for attention or rush to be hugged these days, instead nodding at her politely.

The children are jumping around her, so excited, and it’s clear she’ll have to see whatever they want to show her.

She squats in the sand with Gin and Elize, letting them shout over each other excitedly and jostle each other to present the seaweed, shells and junk that they'd been digging up.

Wataru continues to cling to her arm, staring up at her with his round, baby blue eyes, hanging on to every word. Gin shows off his cartwheel and Elize does one too, shouting that she's just as good.

"You've all become so great at it!" Cagalli says, quite impressed.

"It's because you haven't been here in so long." Gin points out.

"We had it down a while ago." Elize chirps her agreement, and Wataru says, "I can cartwheel too!"

"Nah, you're still a baby." Elize says, giggling and making faces at him.

Wataru scrunches his face up, inadvertently proving the accuracy of Elize's impression. "I am not! Lowe said I could do it if I wanted to. He said he'll teach me how to pilot next year!"

"Yeah, he would, he's nice like that." Gin laughs. "Pretty sure you'll have to help pick scrap metal first though. Nobody in the Junk Guild starts piloting straightaway."

"How's Lowe doing?" Cagalli asks.

"Same, he just drops in from time to time and speaks with Markio. He brought us some spare parts the last time, so we've been trying to build a robot with those." Gin’s smile grows wider and his voice takes on a faraway wistfulness.

Leon touches her shoulder and says, "Mum thought you weren't going to make it, so she let dad go wild with the yoghurt sauce for breakfast. I’m not sure we have chilli sauce, actually."

"Oh, it's not a big deal at all." Cagalli assures Leon, trudging along with him as they move up the slope.

Guiltily, she thinks about her aides and the additional administrative burden she’d caused with her sudden change in plans – the re-routing of the shuttle…

She should have bet that their argument – their gamble all these years – would end in this. Then again, if nobody had bet on the other side, it didn't count as a bet. Maybe he had known that it would end in this too.

The children are still arguing. "We're not so hungry, so we thought we should play a bit."

“Nah, it was too crowded in there!” They jostle each other to move up the path to the house.

“Will you see my new shell collection, Cagalli?”

She chuckles at the frantic way that they speak over each other, and Leon grins at her and the younger children.

As usual, the door to the orphanage house is unlocked. When Cagalli enters the house, she sees the other children are running and playing about.

“Cagalli!”

Kira’s there, with five of the former orphanage kids who've returned for the weekend. His eyes widen with surprise at seeing her, but his daughter springs up from the group of children drawing on the ground.

Silvia runs up to her and tugs at her hand. "Auntie Cagalli, you came! You're so pretty today!"

"Am I?" she says, a bit surprised, and mostly embarrassed. Had Silvia noticed the extra effort that Cagalli had made on the shuttle – was it so obvious?

"Silvia, I think Cagalli is pretty every day." Markio says peacefully, having been drawn out by the mini-commotion. He holds out his hand, and the nearest child takes it and guides him forward to Cagalli.

The other children swarm about her, all chattering at the same time, and Cagalli laughs, hugging whoever whose arms open to her.

When Lacus comes out of the kitchen, holding a basket of bottles, she brightens up and patters over to Cagalli.

"I thought it was you! Such a wonderful surprise!" Lacus says happily. "You made it in the end, thankfully.”

“I had a feeling you might.” Markio says, and Cagalli’s glad he can’t see her sheepish expression.

“You must have arrived so early, did you manage to rest on the shuttle? Athrun’s just washed the dishes, but there’s some breakfast left. I’ll fix it up for you now."

"Thank you, Lacus – yes, I rested enough." Cagalli tries to smile normally, trying to ignore her jumpiness at the mention of his name. "Sorry, it was a last minute change of plans, actually."

Kira takes the bottles from Lacus, setting it on the table. "You should have told us, Athrun could have met you halfway. Did you have to rent a bike?”

Awkwardly, her hand threads through her hair. She turns away from them and sets down her satchel on a chair, feeling the beginnings of a blush. "It wasn't any trouble! It was nice to ride here."

"Well, I'm very glad you made it." Lacus takes her hands, holding them fondly.

She peers closely at Cagalli, and says woefully, "Have you been keeping late nights again? I'll make you some iced chamomile tea, shall I? It's nice to have this morning, it's been a bit warm."

"O-oh, thanks Lacus. That's so sweet of you. Actually, um," Cagalli looks around. Her face is most definitely warmer. "Where is Athrun?"

Kira nudges his chin in a direction. "At the back. He's helping with the compost waste-compressor."

"It would be good if he could fix it." Lacus sighs. "Otherwise, we'll drive to town later to find someone who can."

"Aren't you supposed to help him?" Cagalli asks her twin.

It's unusual that they aren't tinkering in the garage together, working in the way that nobody but they can understand. She would have expected them to be huddled with their heads nearly bumping against each other, working while sharing their private, often completely incomprehensible jokes.

Kira has the grace to look a bit embarrassed. "I tried last night, but I couldn't solve it. I always had problems with that compressor in the past. It's not a software problem, it's a mechanical problem."

"It's not a software problem, it's a mechanical problem." Cagalli teases, and Lacus’ laugh makes her eyes crinkle.

X

She spots Athrun in the garage, brow furrowed with concentration, trying to fix Markio's problematic unit.

Through the garage window, she can even see the black grease stain on his cheek, maybe from him accidentally wiping away his sweat.

He's wisely left his collared shirt hanging at a hook at the side to avoid the grease, but his white undershirt is damp with sweat. He’s mumbling, she can tell from how his lips are moving. He might even be cursing under his breath.

The jack that he uses isn't the right size, she realises. He probably doesn't have the right tools here, or he can't find it.

He slaps the back of the unit as it sputters, and he actually looks irritated. Looking at him makes her clench with the love of him, and she wonders if she could have gone on like that, if she had been in his position.

When he struggles with the unit, his frown deepens. She fights back a nervous laugh watching him, even though he wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway.

For a minute, she thinks she'll come back later to speak with him, maybe when he's not sweating and trying to pry away at the beeping, cranky unit. His reaction could go either way.

_Are you sure? Will you regret it, the damage it might cause to him? And what will you do, if it causes you damage? Will you resent him for it?_

She hangs back, suddenly unsure again. Her pulse is racing now, and she twists her hand in her pocket. If she walked away, would he still follow and stay with her when she asked? And even if he did, would he do that forever, and was it really enough? 

Her aides had noticed how tense she was the week before, even if they did not comment on it. Those who were aware of her trip to Vanuatu knew enough about who she had visited, but nobody would know that she wept herself hoarse in the hastily-arranged shuttle back to Orb. The days after had seen her in a daze, even while she informed her twin that she wouldn’t be able to make the next visit to the Marshall islands. 

And yet, she was still here. 

_I just need a chance. I want to take the chance._

There’s no time like the present, as her father used to insist. The memory of him swims up in her mind, and her fist tightens with the ache of what he’d said. He had wanted her to have happiness – he had wished to protect her, but he wanted her to be happy. And she would be.

This time, more than ever, she’s determined to be. 

So Cagalli moves to the shutter, squats and ducks underneath the half-rolled door, crouching to slip below. It’s rather clumsy, ungainly even, but she can’t care less.

He sees her as she straightens up.

His eyes widen, and he begins to say something, startled at her being here. As always, she's much, much quicker.

"My answer’s yes."

She can feel her heart squeezing up her throat. It's the first thing that she says; everything that she thought she would say, every explanation, every caveat, every caution flying out of her mind, melting into nothing.

He's confused. He hasn't let go of the jackhammer. The unit is still screeching in mechanical beeps, spinning in a spot like it might still orchestrate its escape and avoid being taken apart by him.

He opens his mouth, closes it, and then says hoarsely, "Say that again?"

"I said I do. I want to marry you. I want to be with you for the rest of my days."

X

It takes all of a day.

Lacus pulls her into the sleepy little town at the outskirts. The very idea of riding into town on the same scooter that Cagalli rented makes Lacus clap her hands with glee.

It’s a strange outing for people like them, just two women enjoying an afternoon of frivolity, but it’s what makes it so wonderful. Even though Kira offers to drive them there with the car, Lacus insists that they leave an hour earlier than Kira and Athrun.

"Don’t be impatient, you’ll see the bride soon enough." Lacus coos at the men. She winds her arms securely around Cagalli's middle, rubbing her cheek into Cagalli’s shoulder affectionately. "We'll set off first."

In the small town, Lacus picks out a flowing, mint summer dress that she has altered for Cagalli on the spot. It's simple, with thin, barely visible straps, and it has no embellishment. It looks nothing like Cagalli's first blue and white pleated wedding gown, with the carefully-tailored details and the ostentatious veil.

But in a whirl of inspiration and with her signature flair, Lacus finds some white organza and says that she'll pin strips of those to the straight-cut bust.

"It'll be so plain otherwise!" Lacus laments. "I wish we had more time, I would have found you something more festive! And shouldn't you have a veil?"

"No, I don't mind." Cagalli assures her. "At least I'll be able to reuse the dress."

"You're so practical." Lacus chuckles. "Always like that."

When they run into Athrun and Kira taking a break at the fountain square, Lacus refuses to show the dress to them, and laughingly pulls Cagalli off.

Kira does the same to Athrun, even though Athrun looks at her and tries to tell her something. Cagalli’s last glimpse of him is when he’s sputtering and actually blushing, Kira’s hand on his shoulder as he’s led away.

Cagalli buys her and Lacus shaved ice at a little parlour, and Lacus points out another store which has some bath scrubs. She seems to know the area like the back of her hand.

"How is it that you know exactly where to go?" Cagalli asks, quite amazed.

"I used to come by here quite a lot, when we were living here." Lacus beams. "And this place hasn't changed much even after all that time."

In this remote Orb territory, where getting supplies meant having to drive into town, a city-born person could have been bored to tears. But Lacus had wished to live here after the war, and it was clear to Cagalli that Kira loved Lacus by then.

He'd made his choice as much as she had in returning to Orb, Cagalli realises, hiding away from the world in a place like this with Lacus.

By the height of the afternoon, they return to find that Kira and the older children have brought out all the chairs and the lamps normally reserved for electrical failures, arranging those under the palms and frangipani trees by the shore.

Some of the children have dragged the old swing to the shore, and the others gather sprays and sprays of seagrass and whisk fern. They take those and climb up the old rope swing, tying vines and flowers around the frame.

When Cagalli runs to them, offering her help, they unanimously shoo her away, telling her to rest and get prepared.

She mustn't try and meet Athrun either, they crow, and it’s clear that they've shooed him away as well. Markio supervises in the way that only he can, as calm as he’s always been.

Soon the house has been swept again, made spick and span. A group of them have arranged the simple food and lemonade on the newly-laid table, and a new table cloth was taken from the storage room.

Her cheeks feel close to bursting into flames when Lacus whispers that Cagalli’s things have been put in the guest room, where she can stay for the night, and that Lacus will take care of things in the morning. Lacus just giggles when Cagalli sputters something about heading back to Orb. 

As Lacus leads her about, Markio hears them and raises his head from the Braille passages that he's been sifting through. He smilingly tells them that he's waited a long time for this day.

"When did you know?" Cagalli says, squirming.

"Years ago. I see more than my eyes let me." he says, matter-of-factly. "I hear it, every time Athrun says something to you. He doesn't speak like that to anyone else. Not Kira, not even Lacus."

In the bath, Lacus ensures that every layer of dust and sand is washed from Cagalli, never mind that going down to the shore and being on the beach will negate the cold, refreshing bath that Cagalli takes.

The scrub that they purchase is as terrific as Lacus claimed, even if Cagalli chortles and says she’s quite sure that her first layer of skin has been more or less removed by Lacus’ enthusiasm.

When Lacus helps Cagalli to dress, she makes Cagalli flush with her teasing touches. Her blue eyes twinkle when she coos her compliments, and Cagalli can’t decide if Lacus is trying to make her blush on purpose. Even as Cagalli hems and haws, Lacus skilfully lines her eyes with kohl, pats a bit of rouge on her cheeks, and applies some lipstick and gloss.

Then three of the children come in to present a corsage of the small orange-crimson blooms from the flame trees, pinning it onto Cagalli's bossom, over the white organza bow with its flowing tails.

Had she been married in the style of the Plants, Cagalli has no doubt that her wedding dress would have been far more elaborate with the many moving pieces and organza that Lacus seems so keen on. But on this island, the height of any aesthetic is whatever the children can find. They pin the long garland of pale green fronds to the dress' hem, and weave the same bright flowers into her hair after Lacus dries and brushes it.

The children squeal about how gorgeous everything looks, but they’re truly in awe when Lacus clasps the finishing touch of a fine chain around Cagalli's neck. Her fingers trace it, and she sees a gold amulet resting on her décolletage.

“You shouldn’t have, Lacus!”

It's far too costly and beautiful, but Lacus soothes Cagalli's protests.

“A wedding gift should not be returned.” Lacus tells her. “And it suits you perfectly.”

When they finally let her look into the mirror, her protests that they're fussing too much die on her lips.

Soon, some other children come calling, and Lacus ushers all of them out, and tells Cagalli to sit tight and be patient.

“I’m so happy that you came today.” Lacus whispers, and Cagalli sweeps her into an embrace. “I am so happy for you, my sister.”

Time trickles by, with her father, Kisaka and Mana in her mind. She can imagine Kisaka and Mana being annoyed with her, but then she’ll explain it to them, somehow. The thought of what she’ll have to tell her aides makes her sigh, but it’s as her father used to say – it would have to be done, one thing at a time.

The children who sneak back in keep her company, playing card games with her. But one by one, they leave, telling her it’s almost time. Then she’s finally alone, waiting and watching the sun slowly chart its descent into the horizon beyond her window. 

So many of her old friends are gone, and she’ll never have the chance to share her happiness with them. Nor does Cagalli have any way of thanking the sad-eyed, smiling woman in the photograph, who had shared so much of Cagalli's features.

Once, Cagalli had sat with a veil carefully arranged over a chair, waiting like this. Now, there will be no state wedding, no ceremony by the sacred Yalafath cliffs, neither state dinner nor the dance that she had been compelled to learn. Instead, she’ll have the ocean and this sunset, in a place where she had been so young once.

Her heart is beating so, so fast.

When she closes her eyes, she can visualise the dressing room in the Atha manor. There was that sense of powerlessness and fear, so acute that it cut through even the daze of having gone through schedule after schedule and the long guest lists. Hadn't there been fittings and dresses and flowers and wine selections and the security detail after security detail?

Mana had wept but lovingly prepared a set of gifts. There had been a peach-coloured, slightly-quaint nightgown – as if it would have soothed the lovelessness of what was to be Cagalli's wedding night.

Kisaka had been tense, whispering to her when he led her out that she only had to wait. She hadn't understood, but hours later, in the cockpit of the Freedom, uncomfortably sharing her twin's pilot seat, it became clear what Kisaka meant. Only Kisaka would have been able to bypass the security controls that he had, but Kisaka and Kira must have known that she would refuse if they’d told her of their plans.

This time when Kira comes to fetch her, he's smiling so broadly that she begins to laugh. He’s so dapper in a formal shirt that he borrowed from Markio, hair washed and undoubtedly combed with Lacus' help.

"Look at you!" Cagalli says, quite impressed.

"Look at you too." he says, and he stoops, fits her hand into the crook of his elbow, and gently raises her to stand. His eyes are so fond, and he smiles, a boy again, and she holds him tightly.

It’s a while before she feels ready to let go, and he assures her that she hasn’t ruined the carefully-applied rouge.

When they see her emerge from the room, two children dressed in their best clothing run to hug her.

But then they remember their tasks and proudly hold the train of her dress as they lead her out of the quiet, empty house. They giggle even as they carefully do so, delirious with joy and excitement. 

Slowly, they go down that familiar gravel path, making sure that she's balanced on either side.

As she treads with her borrowed sandals, the sand darting between her toes, the sea birds call and scream, flying into the orange horizon. The ocean roars around them and the salt scents the air, sultry and irresistible.

The children had cut and arranged palm leaves in a path on the shore, leading to the swing. The sunset spills through the windows of the leaves, and the glinting circle of those graceful, fine branches in the many glass jars bring her sudden tears. The children would have used those jars for storing their seashore treasures, but they must have poured out their treasures elsewhere and ceded their jars for this special day.

In two lines, bright on the seashore, small hands hold up the rainbows of their bouquets, beckoning her. The jungle flame flowers and the frangipani that the children gathered to frame the ceremony are like little sunsets, orange, pink, red, yellow, white, melting into each other.

In the distance, Lacus plucks a small guitar, singing slowly in her clear, wondrous voice. Markio stands with his passages ready in hand, and Athrun is there, waiting for her.

When they’re gathered there, the ocean has turned orange. The sky is ablaze, and the waves throw themselves upon the shore, dying, reviving with each turn.

She hardly hears anything Markio says, because she can only see Athrun.

He stands before her in the gold and vermilion sunset, eyes on her. She recognises the same white shirt under the new suit, the same shirt that he had saved from grease stains in the garage, freshly washed and probably dried in the afternoon’s sun.

She wants to laugh and cry, but then she’s looking right at him, and she sees now that it's a debt that she would have had to repay, one way or another. She'd owed it to him for so long, but in every way and just as much, she had owed it to herself.

When she gives Athrun her hand to hold in his, she can't help squeezing it a little, to feel if it's real. He squeezes it back, and she laughs then. His smile tells her that she’s everything that he's ever wanted.

The dagger that he’d nearly plunged into her chest, the bullet from her shot grazing his side; the way that Kira had gone to the garage and found them bashful in each others' arms, all their strife, waiting, longing; the way they’d hurt and healed each other. They had found and lost each other, only to find themselves all over again. Everything has brought them to this.

When he slides a ring of woven seagrass on her finger, he bends his head and whispers a frantic, earnest apology.

"I tried to find something today, but I wanted to do it perfectly this time. I promise, I’ll ask you properly when we're back in Orb."

She grins at him. She'll tell him later that she's already instructed her aides to send the first one for resizing.

He takes her by the waist, and she sees him, only him.

It feels as though she's lived an eternity, putting her arms around his neck, his hands pressing the small of her back to him, drawing themselves together. The circumference of his embrace is familiar, but it’s so, so new in this moment.

When they kiss, the children, Markio, and her family stand around them in a circle and clap.

X

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking this ride together.


End file.
